The Epic Seizing (Part Three of the Trilogy)

Mega-Monolith

My heart potential

Megalithic,

Waiting to be quarried

From the place it lies so cold,

In an ugly bed of stone.

Someone’s come and chiseled it

Out of the solid granite,

And somehow moved the enormous mass

To a place

Where it stands alone.

Now the artist hammers off

Huge chunks of

Outer nothingness,

Crumbling away the superfluous,

And the parts that do not go.

Now he’s filing finer things

Away and sanding out to smooth,

Bringing out my inner finish,

Glimmering in the know.

He steps back now to take a look

At my monolithic presence.

He’s heated me with his glowing torch

And washed me with sweat and tears.

He rubs the last rough

Aching part of my heart

And tenderly caresses it.

He makes me shine

In dark or light

And melts away my fears.

Yes, he truly freed me

From the place where I lay buried.

He set me up,

Established me,

For all the world to see.

He blasted all my shackles off

And prioritized my matters,

And left me there

To be eternal enigma,

A mysterious thing of beauty,

A paradox,

An answer

Of sure uncertainty.

Chapter 1

Today, I walked in ruins,

Stumbling over ancient stones.

Some seemed glazed,

But what ginormous oven

Could hold this size within?

What great womb could labor out

These megalithic blocks?

My heart blazed,

And stinging tears

I'd bitterly held for long, too long,

I slung out hard,

And regrets welled up to flow.

I was a queen.

Yeah. So what?

Even a regal soul can vitrify.

But before I could allow myself more pity,

Suddenly something was charging my lonely core,

Heating and holding the furnace ever steady.

Every vibrating cell was energized

To a new, high, ultra-frequency,

As if some other soul,

At a quicker amplitude yet,

Had overshadowed me in that place,

Passing through me, yet had paused,

To possess me in between.

Time had no beginning and no end.

And in an eternal, stalled, Sargasso Sea,

I stood among the monoliths and longed for more

Than a vacant fulfillment of some momentary wish.

Then I felt a cosmic overthrow.

Everything within me came undone.

Colossal rumbling from within my Self

Shook me and the place my feet touched down.

I heard an earth shattering, guttural roar.

Surprised, I open my eyes as all feeling stopped.

Nuclear wind erupts, a hissing sound!

A hollow, blue-white brightness pulses all around!

Then gravity was gone. My feet are up,

And off I shot through turning blue.

Chapter 2

Now I stand,

I really know not where,

Still trembling,

With my pieces coming to.

A holographic, oily, rain-bowed film fades from view.

I slip from it, as from a worn out skin.

But power is on me.

My being pulses, quickened.

My soul shakes to a breaking point.

My body weak and sickly,

But gaining fast.

I feel that maybe I have never left.

And yet, perceive I've traveled some great time

And, or, distance.

Tiny, jeweled glimmers flick like snow,

And as my eyes accustom to the way,

A blueness, presence, and great shine I see,

And collapse like a dream in the arms of breaking day.

It is some man, an angel, or a god,

Chiseled in strength, glory, and great power.

Incredibly thick, with density in each step,

Yet, he furtively lights, free, and lightning quick,

To catch me as I fall.

He slows his speech to reach my clay-shod ears,

Down to a pitch where I can understand.

"Fear not," the thundering voice tries hard to whisper,

As he offers a mighty, brazen, muscled hand.

Without a thought, I give my hand to his.

Not breathing, not thinking, not knowing anything,

I let him pull me to his step, which seems to hover,

And in one second, we are all but gone.

Intense quiet mutes the rush of sound.

No hour would dare to mark its fitful time.

No buzzing minute would dare alarm or check

The fathomless infinity of the Poet, or His silent rhyme.

I'm not looking for that chance of quick escape.

No open door holds any hope for me.

My all in all I give without a doubt

To this great soul, whatever he may be.

And so I cling to his ethereal form,

Holding close, and pressing myself to him.

I dare not look right or left, much less back.

My forehead to his shoulder, eyes still brim

With the bitter tears that filled them just before.

They flow like waves that miss the sullen shore.

Yet as they pass, they bring a spring up with them.

I wipe them on the back of my hand, and feel them cleansing.

Chapter 3

We slow to a pace where I feel safe to peek

Around the great back of the Blue and Shining One.

In a place where night hides our silent arrival,

 I wonder, somehow, just what type of sun

Will rise in this strange land of heavy blue,

Where all seems but evasive, liquid shimmer.

Mercurial beading zips and rearranges

Divinely ordered scapes of sweet quicksilver.

We stop, and as we gel and come to rest,

I hear a sound I don't identify

Right away, but then I realize, it's breathing,

And as he turns I feel his breath on me.

And then I think, "I should breathe now, too,

For I'm not sure I have in some great while."

His eyes turn and fall heavily on me.

Then carefully, he offers me a smile.

"My name is Lugh," he tells me softly,

Then gentle, sweet, he takes my hand in his.

His other hand around me in embrace,

And tenderly touches the back of my hand with his lips.

He steps down off the pedestalled, flying tile.

Still holding my hand, he steadies me as I follow.

Opening his other, he displays a dove,

But as it flies, it splits into two swallows.

I watch them fly into the silvery night.

And one goes north, the other keeping left,

Flies higher up into the streaking blue.

 The omen makes be feel a tinge bereft,

But with the touch from Lugh upon my back—

That pressing presence strong, but, oh so sweet,

An overwhelming warmth and joyful buzz

Surges through my heart, down to my feet.

It fills me with a hope and strange desire

To know the future and to ever be

Delighted by the depth of fiery life,

Engulfed by blue abundance, engaged in destiny.

I pinch myself, and wonder where on the planet

We are, or if in the galaxy,

And as if reading my simple thought, Lugh turned

And assuringly said, "Just outside the Ancient Hebrides."

Chapter 4

My heart stopped then to hear my given name.

Lugh smiled to see me wrestle with connection.

"Yes," he said. "The complex story and plot

Awaits unraveling at your every question."

"Who are you, then?" I longed to know.

"I am Lugh," he shook his head and smiled.

Then with a serious stare, he took both hands,

"I've loved you for a long, long while,"

He said in words that dropped like pennies in a well.

"I'm your guardian. Forever I've been watching,

Loving you in invisible, imperceptible ways.

For me to meet you, ever, is forbidden,

But here we are, for I discovered the portal to this plane,

Where all things, truly, are possible, then and now, again.

This dimension weaves a tenuous hold

Between the past, the future, and the now.

Perceptions adjust, are fluid, and upend-able,

Projections live, and all things are allowed.

I am a king in this world, perhaps a god.

The natives here hold me in high regard.

I brought you here," he paused. He looked at me.

"I brought you here." He squeezed me rather hard.

But it felt intensely good. Something settled firm.

My heart must have whispered some sweet nothing,

For not a question answered from his lips,

But a kiss I won't forget, an ebullient something.

Chapter 5

The Kiss

I'd felt healing glory many times.

Strange miracles appeared like deja vu

In my life, at my most desperate hours.

This kiss revealed the source of those was Lugh.

That same feeling tingling through my soul

Quickened my cells and lit my eyes and mind,

Illuminating my awareness of hopeful good,

Thrilling me through and through and satisfying,

Like pigeons that have found their way back home.

I let the foretaste roll around in me,

Savoring the tingle in my mouth. Each bud

Responded to the loyal, committed flavor,

Safely secured by his sacred kingdom blood.

The kiss told me how much he sought to pour

Himself upon me, filling any lack.

While the strong embrace re-fortified my heart,

His skillful knowing hands warmed on my back.

Deep, long draughts of sweet, water-blue kisses

Passionately passed between,

Until we both grew breathless,

And I let my soul careen

Headlong into his shadowy essence,

And fell so hard for him.

So many things I didn't know,

But I'd gone down for the last time,

And I wanted to drown in the depths of it--

His shining, mercurial blue,

To die a thousand deaths each night

And resurrect each dawn with Lugh.

Chapter 6

The kiss was healing me, that I knew.

I not only saw massive detonations of fireworks,

But literal explosions were firing off releases on a cellular level.

I could perceive a "letting go" of long unsatisfied claims and goals,

Leaving nothing, but room to grow,

Or a sparkling nebula of starry foal,

Potential horse power to carry me on.

Freed from the dreary prison cell,

I had a destination pulsing through:

"Anywhere or bust," save this living hell.

But there was something that haunted me:

There were always more levels to being free.

I had been healed in my life before,

And as I would breathe and stand and gape,

The peace of it would immediately start to lessen.

The wholeness slowly turned to sand and escaped,

And I would require some other fix,

Some other height to climb,

Some other quest of the magic elixir

To soothe my tortured mind.

And I admit, wondering, then,

How this would play out.

Even as he was kissing me,

I felt that one doubt

Creep in like a crafty intruder,

A saboteur of my peace.

And my guardian,

Did he know my thought?

Did he know what garrison

He'd need as he fought

The fungal menace of black that crept over his blue?

I think he did, for he seemed to know

Every little thing that made my heart go

Pitty pat, and would do just that,

And kept moving me forward

Easily, never in a rush,

Not trying to prove, but rather a hush,

On his every move.

But he knew just when I needed a word,

Bravely and sincerely, the most attentive

Things I'd ever heard, he said.

They were truisms, and mattered,

Not just syrupy, nonsense blather

To keep my ears busy,

No inane flattery came from his manly tongue.

But here was a being who had watched me grow,

And seen every move, every tendency.

He knew the deep desires of my heart

Better than I did, and seemed to know

The pitfalls I'd suffered, and therefore, so,

What buttons pushed my despondency.

The things that might cause another anger,

Made me feel, instead, devalued,or danger

Of dire absorption, stagnation.

But, as Lugh walked me along the dimension

That existed between the moon and the sun,

I felt more than a mere fascination

At how he allowed me to feel at one

With myself, and steadily, with him.

Chapter 7

Lugh took my hand, and led me

On a trail that he had cleared.

The moonlit leaves and trunks of trees

Flickered and shimmered,

And as we walked, two pups appeared.

One was a mongrel looking mutt,

It clumsed along in the shades

The other looked to be full blood wolf,

But when Lugh stopped, they both stayed

Where they were in the forest behind him,

Heeling as if trained, and I watched them,

As I listened and took in the span

Of Lugh’s Lair. He’d brought me, first

To the center of his land.

This was his own private domain—

A giant man cave, as it were,

Acres and acres of vivid blue hunting ground.

And as we roamed, just a few more cur

Came to be our entourage,

Scouting through the grasses ahead,

Stirring out doves, and quail, and rabbits.

The meadows were filled with mead.

Three smaller dogs stopped suddenly

At the edge of some taller stems.

Lugh tossed a pebble, stealthily,

And then we were myrrh to watch them

Pouncing like two rubber balls

To get the jump on that pebble.

Then the thought occurred to me

As I let the chuckle rumble

Through my eternal heart,

That wasn’t the first time Lugh had orchestrated

Some event with a simple start,

Some little something arranged divinely

To bring a dash of hope, or a smile,

Some poignant scene, or just plain funny

To help me pass the while.

And he knew the most organic depths

Of me, and so he knew

The exact types of little things

To say, and things to do.

And I admired the way he did it,

Quiet without a fuss,

Not drawing attention to himself

Or taking away from the “us”

Of the moment, or away from the time at all,

But just from himself and knowing me so

Did the special occasions fall.

And I began to see a fortress of love for him

Outline around my soul.

The giant foundation stones were levitating

With each easy thought,

One by one stacking themselves,

And the deck, in his favor.

I watched him as the two orphaned pups came close.

He took a gleaming tablet, off his belt.

He rubbed the first pup’s nose.

He wrote something, then produced two young hares

From thin air.

He let the two dogs smell them, then quick release,

And they went chasing their supper down

In the joy of the hunt, and the peace

Of feeling somewhat self-reliant.

Chapter 8 The Epic Seizing

I realized, then, that I was hungry, too.

I turned and looked to see,

But where was Lugh?

I barely spied him, all but camouflaged

In the blue of the shaded trees that silhouette.

He was standing under a pious oak,

Gorgeous, chiseled, Olympian stature.

Reaching up into the boughs, he pulled

A sprigging piece of saged mistletoe.

I walked up curious. He opened his other hand

To show me two small robin’s eggs,

Arching and scooping them with the other hand,

Opening his palm with magician flare,

I marveled! They were gone!

He smiled, opening the first.

He’d never taken them!

They were there all along.

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed.

He told me that he loved me.

Then eggs and mistletoe in hand,

He held them all above me

And said, “I’ve always dreamed

To be together, just like this,”

And bringing the sacred bouquet to my waist,

He embraced me for another kiss.

His lips brought beading sweat to my brow

And a glimmering tear to my eye.

A rusty hinge clunked deep within me.

I smelled the wild rye

Growing grain for grain in the bittergreen.

Chapter 9

Lugh made a note on his tablet,

And a mama goat came wandering by.

She cried a mourning bleat as she searched,

A haunting grief in her hollow eyes.

Her bag was full, yet no lamb followed,

No frisking, gamboling, kid.

But Lugh took a silver cup off his belt,

And I watched to see what he did.

He milked the nanny, relieving her greatly

From the pressure of the milk—

A creamy, bluish colostrum,

Smooth as flowing silk.

Then he crushed the mistletoe,

Scraped the chalky stalks.

He squeezed the juice of the pearl white berries,

And wiped his hands on his leathery smock.

Then he took the two small robin eggs,

Cracked them, and whipped them in raw,

Took a sip, and nodded, and tipped

The cup up and I saw

The shimmering mixture,

Suspended in the blue.

He offered it to me,

His hands both still holding the silver cup, too.

I was loathe to drink it.

The thought of it was gross.

I’d always heard that mistletoe was poison,

And don’t care for my eggs raw.

Then, there was the lactose intolerance.

I didn’t really know

If my allergy was just to cow’s milk.

But—milk from a grieving goat?

I just didn’t think I could go it.

Lugh smiled, nudging the cup at me,

Wanting so much for me to drink it with him,

Wanting me to love it.

I couldn’t resist his desires.

He was such a presence—

So clothed with glory.

I put both my hands on both of his,

And as I stood and faced him,

I took a sip of the fateful drink.

Immediately my thoughts swim

Together and flood with wonder.

The taste was so bittersweet,

But the fullness of the body

So electrified my taste buds,

And soothed me all the way down.

Hungrily, I tipped the cup to drain it

Like a starved man, who’d almost drowned

And been lost on a deserted island.

So fulfilling was the drink to bear!

And Lugh threw his head back

And laughed to see

Me licking my chops for more.

Chapter 10

Next morning I awoke

With Buyer’s Remorse setting in.

The potent drink had knocked me out,

And dreams had plagued me

All night long.

I instantly thought of Persephone,

And how she’d been captured to the underworld.

But she was more perceptive than I,

And if memory served me right,

She spent a long time with Hades before

She ate that one pomegranate seed that had sealed her fate.

But me! I had guzzled the mistletoe!

Hades, brother to Zeus, and Poseidon

Everybody knew!

But who the hell was Lugh?

Well, I didn’t have a hangover—

No headache or bleary eyes,

And as I stood, and yawned up into the morning

I felt nothing but exhilarated.

It took me longer to stretch myself out than usual,

And slowly it dawned,

I was a full foot taller!

Chapter 11

I turned to see Lugh look askance at me,

Raising a clever eyebrow, a canary eating grin,

“Good Morning, Love,” he called, as he approached,

And took me in his oaken arms again.

A first-light hug, kiss upon my cheek,

He stepped back to look me up and down.

His eyes approved, and gleamed. He laughed and said,

“Darling, you’re going to need a larger gown.”

I was more his height, and perfect weight,

Muscled, toned, and firm, from head to toe.

My hair was longer, and flowed like silken mane,

My skin ivory as the berry of the mistletoe.

Lugh then tuned, busied with some task,

Explained, as he tinkered, I had been malnourished.

The right foods hadn’t been available

That I needed to grow to fullness and to flourish,

And so I had been stunted on the earth,

A hollow shell of what I could’ve been.

But in this dimension, readily available

Were all the nutrients that “should’ve been.”

And so many potential fulfillers lay in store

For me to be sustained by possibility

And to achieve my hearts most dear desires.

I felt but a slight pain—of disappointment.

The world I knew had cheated and deprived,

Been so hard, everything, just to live there—

A miracle that anyone survives,

Much less succeeds, whatever success might mean now.

But my thoughts just couldn’t flow that way.

I was thrilled to be with someone

Who’d opened the door

To me being my best that day.

Chapter 12

It was strange being big.

I had always been tiny—

Petite, whatever the word might be

To describe my diminutive figure.

I’d come to justify, that the universe,

Or the gods, whoever was in charge,

Had some plan in that, despite the irony.

For my personality was large,

My sense of justice, feisty.

Been many the time, had I been bigger,

I’d have opened a fresh can

On someone nasty.

Instead I had to learn

To be tactful, diplomatic,

To tend my own knitting, and beeswax,

And completely ignore the static.

Now I was an Amazon Woman.

And it felt very right to me

To have both the nature to war

With the bullies

And the means to set them free

From their henhouse ways.

Lugh told me that he’d also added,

Besides the ingredients I knew,

Some trace minerals from distant stars and planets,

And they had nourished the way I grew

So fast, and so fully.

I wondered if I should be mad at him.

Did he not like me as I was?

I wondered if the drink had grown my personality,

For I didn’t feel like whipping him,

Just hungry for his touch.

Chapter 13

Greater vision also slowly dawned.

I realized now, far-sightedness.

Where I had always been myopic,

Now a distant view.

I could spot a doe, running deep

Within the forest,

The movement of a hare,

Or bird, up in the tallest tree.

A wider perspective filled my eyes.

Periphery had expanded,

And with it my understanding—

Bigger picture, and in 3-D.

And so it seemed that all of me

Matured into some other

Form of myself, in updated version:

Hebrides Forty-seven Point, OH!

I was continuously reinforced, or being nurtured,

Tended, and cultured

By the various advancement

Lugh produced on his tablet,

And by his love.

But what I wanted to see with my new self

That day, was a sunrise,

A good old-fashioned breaking of the

Golden from the blush.

I missed the pinks and roses,

How they blended in the mornings,

How they stirred my soul with wonder,

How they filled my hope with hush.

Even as I thought this,

Lugh came easing into my side view,

Slowly, silently shining

In the corner of my eye,

Stepping easily up

Into the east of my still morning,

Suddenly smiling,

Breaking into a glorious, sunny grin.

I stared into him deeply,

And couldn’t quite explain it,

But a brilliant ray of hope lit

Within the shadows there of Lugh.

He took me in his arms and whispered,

“I am the light that shines here.

My shimmer stirs hope, scientifically,

Just as Magenta 62

Does, when one peers diligently

Into the rosy glow of morning.

The nor-epinephrine and serotonin

Race and play there in the brain,

Creating a surge of positivity,

Charged by pure endorphin.”

I wanted to be disgusted—

A scientific sunrise?

Chemicals reacting mathematically

Caused hope inside my head?

But loosely, Lugh was holding me,

And dipping me in sweet tango,

A ginger, jitterbugging dance,

So I kissed the man instead.

I’ve always loved to dance in the mornings.

Chapter 14

After our dance, Lugh made me breakfast.

God only knows what it was.

Maybe the stem cells of aborted stars,

Or iridium dust

From the Proto-Big Bang.

But, it tasted good.

And I trusted his expertise—

His diagnoses of me, and what I needed

To suffice those areas where I had lacked.

And so I was willing to fully submit to Lugh.

Actually, I was eager to see what improvements

His potions might produce in me next,

Which part of me might expand, or contract,

Or what inner sensation or ability might come to life.

After I ate, I was energized.

I felt like running, and did.

I took off, galloping through the glades

Like a sportive cougar,

A sinewy panther, ready to pounce.

Covering meters at a time with every stride,

I streaked through the dense, thicket trail.

Coming to a streaming tree-lined river,

I leapt up and crossed it limb over limb,

Like some great monkey-barred playground,

Then dropped, plunged, feet first,

Completely submerged in the heart of the push.

I swam upstream as far as I dared.

I bounded out of the rush and shook,

Then sauntered back through the thicket,

Emerging into the clearing

Where Lugh was efficaciously astir.

He cut his eyes up to mine, and smiled,

A delighted, satisfied grin

To see me pacing forth.

Chapter 15

“Today is your day, Princess!”

Lugh smiled and took my hands,

Walking backwards, staring ably,

Deeply into my eyes, guiding me

To his work bench. Stopping at a table,

That, along with many tools and gadgets,

(Which I didn’t know what they were)

He dropped one hand to direct, with flare,

My eyes to a shining piece of armor.

I couldn’t tell what type of material

He’d fashioned the full-body cover from,

But like the rest of his lair, it shone

Like mercury’s living shimmer.

It seemed to be liquid, deceptively so.

It seemed to glimmer, then smear,

Then bead, and escape, elusive,

And even to disappear

As I gazed upon it.

Then Lugh, smiling as usual,

Picked it up, and said, “Please, try it on.

I’ve made it, tailored it, just for you,

But none of it can be wrong.

If it doesn’t fit exactly

To every curve and bend,

The codes embedded in the fibers won’t respond

To the data that’s coming in.”

He pointed me to a curtained divider,

A place where I could go change.

I’d only had on a summer frock

When he’s captured me that day.

And since I’d grown, it was way too tight,

And much, much shorter, now.

So I took the suit, and went and donned it,

Behind the veil in the wall.

It fit perfectly, of course, and like

A blowing wind-filled sail,

It made me feel that I might fly.

It was light, but strong, and ready.

Power surged through my veins.

My mind tipped forward, and heady,

I had the thought that I would like

To conquer foreign lands.

Unimagined ambition swelled those sails of mine,

And pushed me out, back in front of the veil,

Where Lugh swallowed me with his eyes,

And nodded approvingly.

Chapter 16

“Today, I introduce you to

The folks of the mainline village!”

Lugh took both my hands in his

And brought them to his lips.

“I would like to tell them, now,

That you are my betrothed.”

He kissed my fingers, all the while,

Looking very close at me.

My heart stopped for about two beats,

Realizing what he was asking.

Lugh closed his eyes very tight,

As if he didn’t want to see

My thoughts for just a second,

For he had always known me,

Known all my little intricacies.

He nodded his head quickly,

Almost imperceptibly,

As if he were answering some higher directive,

Assuring them he had this

All in his control.

He opened his eyes,

Looked deeply into mine.

“I know how many have sought your hand,

How many you’ve left at a burning altar,

Running from the truth that none

Of them have ever known you.

I know,” he paused,

Putting my hands on his shoulders,

Dropping his around my waist

To pull me even closer,

“That you are much too sweet

For earth born men to handle.

Your kindness to them has been overlooked,

Or seen as a weakness in you.

You listen and encourage so keenly,

But they didn’t return the courtesy.

They never asked to see your heart

Or to listen to your dreams.

But I have been there all along.

I have truly seen you,

And my desire for you

Is not to make you a queen,

But a Goddess.”

Chapter 17

“I also know you’re not that big

On stunning, embarrassing surprises.

I know you don’t care for ritual,

Or meaningless, trivial things.

But I have something for you

That I’ve crafted from the finest gold.

Inlayed with high-technology,

It’s more than a wedding ring.”

He pulled a gleaming, golden band,

It seemed, as from thin air.

He held it, almost hypnotically,

Turning my gazing stare,

And as I watched him moving it

He explained some of its power.

“This piece can cloak you with invisibility

And stop time by a minute or an hour,

But this outward symbol will also

Always show you the inner display

Of the fullest love that anyone could ever offer you,

And of you saying ‘yes’ today

To accept my most complete and true friendship,

To be my goddess, and rule

And reign with me here in the shaded dimension,

Yes! with the Blue and Shining One, Lugh.”

Chapter 18

To say that I was flabbergasted

Would really be putting it mildly.

My deepest fear had always been

That somehow the dust would swallow me,

That I would be absorbed into an unidentifiable, earthen womb

Where I would reluctantly decompose

Into a filthy rot.

And, of course, my metamorphoses would not produce

Some grandeur, like a diamond, or even some useful fossil fuel,

Or even a megalithic stone,

But just a nameless, thankless, nihilistic anonymity.

That same engulfing barometric pressure

Closed around me now.

I felt death pangs and wondered then just what

My lot and fate would really be.

I watched my life literally

Flash before my eyes.

I had a fleeting thought,

That an Amazon Woman should not faint.

Immediately I sensed a buzzing current

Humming through my suit.

Tiny nerve-like endings were firing,

Strengthening my knees and girding my loins.

My bodice pulled hard against the bias

And threw my shoulders back.

The pulling forced my diaphragm

And drew a deeper breath for me.

The oxygen hit my bloodstream

And my thinking instantly cleared.

Lugh was offering everything

That I had ever dreamed of.

He knew me better than anyone else,

And that included myself.

He seemed to have a love for me

That went way beyond the normal.

So what was it that was causing me fear?

Was there something I couldn’t see?

I did not want to hurt Lugh’s feelings.

I knew he was reading my every thought.

I tried not to think and that attempt

Brought a hardy laugh from him.

“Oh, my Princess!” He shook his head,

“For you not to think would spur another cataclysm.

Let your mind race to every whim.

I am still Lugh. I will still be here.

I will not allow earth to swallow you,

And neither, my love, will I.

I love you because of your true identity.

I want you to be the utmost you.”

I really believed him,

And stood staring deeply

Into his nebulous, shining blue.

Chapter 19

Well, there was no hiding anything from him.

I sighed a smile of resignation.

His eyes twinkled, the stinker!

He knew he had me right in the palm of his hand.

I need to run, I thought, or walk.

He smiled, opening his body to the side, like a door,

Offering me his kingdom in its entirety

To stroll the bluish glades.

“I need to think, without you looking at me,” I thought.

He raised his hand out, accentuating his offer,

And whispered sweetly, genuinely,

“By all means.”

And so I took his hand, and I kissed it.

He raised his eyebrows, surprised for once!

Maybe because I had done that without thinking.

I walked away, not completely unscathed,

But, in tact, for the present moment.

I guess I just had a lot of questions left unanswered.

I guess in life, most often, all of us really do.

Maybe I just hadn’t grasped yet

Enough of the connections of the mystery.

I didn’t know what it might be like

To be married to someone like Lugh.

This mind reading thing, first and foremost,

Was more than a little unnerving.

I had yet to speak a word aloud in the Lair of Lugh!

And yet every cognizant thought

Was addressed, in the kindest of manners.

But would that get old in the months to come

Much less a year or two?

And Lugh had been nothing but good to me.

I really did trust him for the most part.

But he seemed so far above me

In intelligence and superiority.

Would I begin to feel like some kind of changeling, trophy, door-mat?

“Lugh’s wife”—the magic carpet oddity!

I turned and headed back toward Lugh.

I cared enough for him to entrust these doubts to him, face to face,

Back into the heart of his Lair, but he wasn’t at his workbench.

I couldn’t see him anyplace!

Chapter 20

I stood at his drafting table and stared

Ignorantly at his blueprints—

Designs, highly technological

Mother-boards, panels, and circuits.

To the left, the table made a right angle

And on it were some strange machines,

Parts he was constructing from the diagrams,

Things I had never seen.

Alien lettering blotted the manuals—

Pages and reams of binary code!

Zeros and ones were the only numbers!

I had to laugh out loud.

It looked ridiculous to me—

A full page of only those numbers.

I wondered what would happen if I changed just one?

What hybrid malfunction blunders

Might occur? I was just thinking of taking the pen

And changing one of the ones to a zero,

When Lugh popped into my sight again.

“You call me a stinker? You brat!”

He smiled and snatched the pen!

“I’m going to have to keep

A better eye on you, then!”

I would have been scared,

But his smiling eyes were really quite pleased with me.

“This takes our love to a new level, Dear!”

He laughed as he gave me an influential squeeze.

Then he pinched my butt cheek

And sat, and looked at me and said,

“Now, what questions do you have for Lugh,

Coming out of that pretty head?”

Chapter 21

What is it exactly that you expect from me?

What can I look forward to?

I am not a control freak, never have been,

But I don’t want to assume,

For I am a stranger, in a very strange land

And all of this is new to me.

Lugh threw back his head again,

Getting a kick out of my thoughts.

“You’ve never read the job description,” he laughed,

“Or what to expect, when you become a Goddess?”

“Am I supposed to subsist as a marble statue

That people come cry to, complain to, or worship?

Will they pray to me? Will they stuff me on a pedestal?

Then throw rocks at me superstitiously when they do not get their way?

Or will I have real powers? Can I change their lives for the better?

Or do they want a Goddess like that?

Would it stone them cold if I actually answered a pleading ‘why,’

Or if they see me show concern

At the tragedies of their lives.

What if it really makes me cry?”

Lugh chuckled.

“This is the beauty of Goddess stature,” he said.

“Do whatever the hell you want to!

Be yourself! You are already opulent, gorgeous, unique, and wise.

Speak if you please,

Silence if you rather.

Walk in the glorious, weighty mystique

That already surrounds you.

Let your personality shine.

You will be free to exercise your will—

Fly, disappear, or even stop time.”

Chapter 22

(The Boots)

“Wait—I can fly?”

My thoughts sparked at the word

And leapt to comprehend.

“Oh yes,” said Lugh,

Putting both hands mischievously behind his back.

He grabbed something from his workbench,

Then with his usual dramatic flare

Produced a thigh-high golden pair

Of boots.

He whipped them out straight.

I reached for them,

Puzzled by how they felt.

“Are these made of gold?” I asked him.

“Well, partly,” he said.

“Gold is inherently inert,

Which you will find is a very good thing.

It won’t react with other materials.

It’s a great insulator from heat,

But also, the best for circuitry,

The perfect thing for flying,”

“And,” he kissed my cheek and added a whisper,

“They will look very hot!”

He went on to show me how they worked,

As I pulled and laced them up.

It wasn’t the kind of thing I had ever worn,

And I had grown used to going barefoot.

But these boots felt somehow lighter than air

And perfectly comfortable.

Lugh handed me a remote control

To wear on my wrist, and

Told me to be careful.

“Be careful?” I echoed.

“You want me to try them now?”

“Sure,” Lugh said, “Take ‘em for a spin,

You should already know how.”

And so, I clicked the icon,

Like he had shown me,

And hovered up.

Chapter 23

(The edge of the shadows)

Thank Lugh for the suit!

I know without it I would have disintegrated

Just rising up over the tree tops.

Instead, I barely hesitated.

My eyes must have looked like saucers.

I glanced down to see him giddy.

I somehow felt braver than ever

Despite the butterflies in my gut.

I pressed the next icon and surged with power.

I soared over the trees—

A whooshing, dive-bombing, gold-booted blue jay,

The ultimate slicer of air!

The boots locked, fully integrated with the fibers and circuits

In my suit, and I was able to steer

By moving an arm, or an eyelash.

I could pierce straight up or veer

To either side, or pause and hover.

Anything was possible here!

I knew that besides defying gravity,

It must look like I was in two places

At once, and then completely disappear.

Suddenly I brought myself to a

Screeching halt, mid-flight.

I was stunned, shocked sure

By a stark new sight.

I had reached the edge of Lugh’s shadowy lair,

And the contrast of the last silhouette

Lay right there,

And beyond it—the yellow sun!

All the colors just as I’d known them—

The normal world at arm’s length!

I stood in the blue

With the threshold before me

Wondering at my own strength,

Wondering at the complete freedom Lugh bestowed.

And yet something made me wait.

What would happen to me

If I stepped back into that reality?

Would the things Lugh gave me disappear?

Would the yellow sun empower me further?

Like some modern Super Girl?

Would I be able to go back and forth?

Could I ever get back to Lugh if I stepped across?

Too many questions. No answers.

I hovered again then flew

Back to the heart of Lugh’s Lairdom.

I liked my boots, and my ring.

I like Lugh, too, and was falling for him.

And,

I liked this Goddess thing…

A lot!

Chapter 24

Lugh’s loving eyes were bright with glee.

He sensed me hovering over him,

Turned his head to see me,

And I saw them—those eyes that shone.

He stepped onto his flying tile

And joined me off-ground, up there, in the air.

Finger to finger, hand to hand,

He gazed at me alone.

And I gazed back.

He was a glorious sight to me,

Perfectly handsome, manly, yet sweet,

Generous, thoughtful, and kind.

Here he was, waltzing with me in the air!

Was he still reading my thoughts right now?

Somehow, I know that he was.

For an effervescent purple blush

Glittered his cheeks and his brow

For just an imperceptible minute,

But he spun up a wind that whirled with us in it,

And then, he laid a kiss on me

That just almost knocked my boots off!

Chapter 25

Still off-balance from the dizzying height,

Or perhaps the passionate exchange,

Lugh took my hand, and together we flew

West toward a small mountain range.

I guessed we were going now to the village.

I steeled myself for the greet,

Not knowing what to expect at all, or

What type of people I’d meet,

Or how they would take to me, what they might think,

What they might say, or do,

But I trusted the technology and the wisdom,

And the capable hands of Lugh.

We hovered together a moment, pausing.

I looked down to see a square—

An open place in the midst of the township,

And a crowd was gathering there.

I couldn’t hear their manner of speech,

But took note of the excited gestures.

Everything seemed high-speed tempo,

Running to and fro and great pressure

Seemed to have them stirred to high.

I took a deep breath and thought, “Yes.”

Instantly Lugh brought us wafting down

Saying,“Hail! All hail the Living Goddess!”

Chapter 26

My suit filter-fed off the energy of the crowd,

Allowing only the positive,

Combining it with the power that existed within me,

Assuaging anything negative.

There was no room for thoughts of unworthiness.

Uniqueness alone outpaced.

Bitter, ugly, pitiful thoughts

Systematically were replaced

Like some great replacement theology.

I stood doe-eyed, like peace, before them.

They bowed at my feet, muttering, meditating—

Some of them even transcended.

My face seemed to have developed lungs of its own.

It breathed out inspiration.

Some of the children wanted to come

And touch my respirations.

And so I bent to accommodate them,

Allowed them to touch my hair.

Their tiny hands on my cheeks and chin,

My eyebrows so pale and fair.

Then I smiled at them and they scattered.

They hid themselves, as it were,

But not just from the glory,

I looked, and a pack of cur,

Wild dogs, wolves, and some crows had all gathered there

Around where Lugh and I stood.

Lugh made a note on his tablet

And produced some banquet food,

And the people and children all came back.

Everyone ate and was merry.

Even the dogs had a feast!

I never spoke a single word,

But smiled at Lugh and his trysts.

He was really quite the trickster,

And the life of the ever-loving party.

He glad-handed the folks and counseled them,

And laughed a full and hardy

Laugh at their jokes.

Then he told them that we must fly.

The children gathered bird seed and rice

And threw it at us in the sky

As we ascended together.

They cheered us farewell

As the blue moon fully yearned,

And Lugh with his deep voice

Resonated through the night,

That we would surely return.

Chapter 27

There is a song my grandmother used sing—

“Because he first loved me…”

The words had always seemed foreign and strange,

An impossibility

To understand.

But flying there through the nippy, blue night,

Hand in hand with Lugh,

The exhilaration of purest arrival seemed right,

Nothing else would do

Right then,

But to be with him in the heart of his land.

I was so enamored with him—

Madly, hopelessly lost,

Tumbling head over heels in love

With my Watcher, my Guardian, my Host.

He cut his eyes over coolly as we flew.

His arching right eyebrow said, “Hi?”

And I knew, that he knew, that I knew, that he knew,

That he was the only guy

In the world on my mind and my heart strings.

How could I play hard to get?

This was going to get really weird.

I wondered what kind of bed

This master craftsman had whittled and forged

Out of gold or meteorites, or what technology

Had been embedded in the sheets or the pillow cases

To enhance our honeymoon sensuality?

And just as I thought this,

Lugh burst out laughing,

And cackled so raucously,

That we almost fell out of the sky together.

We veered toward his lair with him still giggling!

Chapter 28

Zipping through the blue that night,

Hand in hand with Lugh,

I wanted to be so close to him,

So I turned off my golden boots

And stepped behind him onto his flying tile.

I pressed my body into his back

And wrapped my arms around his waist.

He turned at his shoulder to look at me,

To see if I was alright.

He saw me smiling, and so he smiled,

Gave a quick kiss to my brow,

And reached one arm around

Behind his back to gather me into himself.

His touch sent tingles from my thigh,

Where his hand had coincidentally grazed me.

All the way up, and all the way down, it thrilled.

It reminded me of our flight to that place,

Clutching him there on our midnight ride.

Except this time, there was no fear.

But even more, it reminded me

Of the first time I ever fell in love.

I remembered riding on the back of a bike,

Arms holding tight to that big strong back.

The chill bumps I had felt then!

I was young, though, and had never been touched,

Never felt more than puppy love.

But I had the same feelings flying with Lugh—

Me—a jaded, middle-aged, woman.

I held my hands on the cusps of his chest,

Folding up into the statuesque ripples,

Rubbing his torso down to his hips.

I breathed the scent of him

At the back of his neck.

I nuzzled the nape

Where his soft hair curled.

I heard him sigh,

A sweet release, and

I felt an inaudible moan.

It came from his chest, and out through his lips,

And I couldn’t wait to be face to face,

To love on him all alone.

Chapter 29 The Honeymoon

Oh the Epic Honeymoon!

I don’t remember landing.

I don’t remember where, or if,

We lay our bodies down.

I remember Lugh turning to look at me.

I remember he whispered, “I see you.”

I knew that it felt like the very first time

That anyone ever had.

For his eyes rocked the very heart of me.

His spirit entwined with mine.

He folded me up into his strong arms

And rolled me under his wing.

I didn’t know then if we literally crashed

Into some primordial profusion,

But I capsized, physically, emotionally engrossed,

In the profound depths of consuming love.

His power engaged me, pulled me under,

Mesmerized by complete overturn,

Overwhelmed, overthrown

By the passion that billowed

And churned there between us,

Making us one.

I can’t tell you if we loved like this

For an hour, a night, or a fortnight.

Time died,

And with it my former self—

The few token, plastic, decorated moments,

Many an oblique forgettable drudge,

Even the most harping, regrettable astringencies

Of bitter defeat—all gone!

Laid to waste, put to naught,

Overpowered, and not even a memory—

All drowned in a sea of vanquishing, relentless, forgetful ecstasy.

Lugh’s body buzzed, full pressure-wave high,

Pulsing mine to a humming meter.

Sine and cosine waved, undulated, warmed me,

And brought me to.

Completeness roused me back to breathing,

Eyes reopen—idolize,

Worshipping him, with splashing kisses

As eternity internalized.

Chapter 30

That night I slept a sated sleep

And dreamed a million dreams.

Ages rolled through my mind

Like holographic truths.

Time had intersected

In a futuristic dark age past.

I felt I’d lived a thousand lives with Lugh.

We were warriors.

We were children.

We were banded, branded brothers.

We were women. We were royalty.

We were meaningless pawns.

But mostly we were best of friends,

Looking out for one another,

And now,

We were lovers again—

After all the star-crossed seams, together.

I wake and turn and drift about

Through the Orphic catacombs,

Emerging thru the stone of a whitewashed tomb.

I see the still of night so heavy.

I see the blue harvest moon

Casting a bliss-like full
On Lugh,
Reaping the bounty
Of tiny, white asparagus blooms.

His loving smile reaches me
From across the field.
Acres of time and distance all merge
Just south of our stony grey castle
And our twelve fine children,
Where orgasm has strewn
Tiny bursts of blinding white blossoms
Snowing up and down all around us.

A living stream of lightning strikes,
Knocking me flat down and thoroughly unconscious .
I wake and sit straight up in the fractal clusters—
Then—with straw and fresh leaves fluffed in my hair,
And rumpled layers of petticoats and skirts all gathered up,
And now—completely unclothed in this king size bed,
As the great membrane of the cosmos snaps to.
All time collapses together.
I subside together with him,

And I say,
“There is a god.”

Chapter 31

This morning I woke in a feathered canopy.

Lugh was tinkering just outside.

A bag of sheer quartz the townspeople offered him

Lay open at his fingertips.

He was taking the white

Pieces and weaving them into a textile.

I rose and curiosity drew me toward him.

He sensed my awakening, turned, and smiled,

Greeted my morning with the sweetest of kisses,

And held me and hugged me for a good long while.

Finally satisfied, I asked, “Whatcha doin’?”

And Lugh said, “I’m making you a helmet, Sweets.”

These crystals will serve as mini-transmitters,

And will help you perform your goddess-like feats.

I’ve also embedded some wires in the meshing.

They will alter your brain function to expert level.

You’ll be the queen of body interpretation,

Almost to mind-reading sensory perception.

“So that‘s how you do it,” I marveled, perplexed,

But I’d known him to be keen without his on.

“After you wear this a few days,” he said,

“Synapses reroute. It doesn’t take long,

And then you get the feel for the speed.

But in watching others, they seem slow-motion,

And by gauging their patterns in kinetic real time,

You will just learn to know,

But its not always 100%.”

Then he showed me the metallic shell

In which this lining would be fit,

Gilded gold, matched my boots,

With exquisite wings on each side of it.

It looked like something a glorious Viking wench would wear.

Chapter 32

“Today,” said Lugh, “We go prospecting.”

He plopped the helmet on my head

And slapped the top for sport.

“What we need now, are some meteorites.

We have enough mica and quartz.”

Lugh continued to speak,

But my brain engaged and locked.

It pained me for a moment.

One eye closed.

I shook my head, and focused in on him.

I knew ahead what he was going to say!

I could picture just where it was

That we would find the stones—

The ones that had fallen from ultra-outer space.

I knew that these would produce the hardest steel,

Which he would forge into a choice weapon,

A sword for me

To wield in utmost power,

Double edged, to slice both out and in.

“I’ve never been one to carry a sword or blade,”

I interrupted his story, not half done.

“The helmet is already working!”

He gasped, eyes wide, proudly he grins.

He didn’t know?

I always had a knack for body language savvy,

A bent for seeing where

The conversation wanted to go.

And so he joined me, hurriedly

A few pages up in his spiel.

A little unnerved, he said,

“But Dear,

This is a different world from whence you’ve come,

And you will certainly need a sword out here.”

“I guess the honeymoon’s over,” I said.

Lugh laughed, “Not quite, Baby.”

Chapter 33

So we packed a sack for lunch

And headed out into the wilds together.

Lugh had a meteor detecting app on his tablet,

As well as one to toy with the weather,

And so he provided an airy breeze,

A few fluffy puffs of clouds in the sky,

Perfect temp, barometer easy.

But I didn’t seem to require a tablet.

I knew instinctively the landing sites.

I walked right to them, picked them up thoughtfully,

Considered them, weighed them.

And as I held them in my hands,

They took me back in time,

Back through space with them,

Back to the origin, back before the big bang,

Then forward again, as if to reiterate

The place from deep space where they began.

I knew, from touching my tongue to them,

Their exact elemental composition,

Each metallic component,

The percentage of each one.

I knew which ones would organically combine

To meld into hardness not easily breached.

Lugh stared, surprised, mouth agape

“How did you do that?

How did you know?” he wondered.

I answered, “You gave me the helmet.”

But he seemed so bewildered,

And was moving quite slow.

Chapter 34

When we got back, we stopped at the edge

Of the township to visit a favored smith of Lugh’s,

An experienced workman

Who owned a high-heat forge.

Lugh had shown him how and what to add

To get the temperatures ten times hotter.

We gave him three stones, as advance in pay,

And he said he would have my sword

Completely done in seven days.

Lugh noted his tablet, the weather app,

And said, “It will snow in five,

So give it the final, finishing chill

To bring the sword to life.”

The smith smiled, and nodded knowingly.

No wonder the townspeople stayed away.

No wonder they thought the smith a wizard,

It seemed like magic the way he took rocks

And made them into gold.

And this man was no ordinary smith,

But a sword-smith of the best.

He knew the color of flame required

To carburize the steel.

Spathologists for years to come

Would see the works of this lone man

And wonder at his craft.

Warlords would clamor and kill to get

One of these incredible blades.

They would wonder to see him today,

Blind in one eye, and a cleft foot.

Chapter 35

Lugh and I walked through the town

On the way back to our lair.

They didn’t hear the rustling wind

Of our flight to give them notice.

Lugh showed me how to twist my ring,

And cloaked by invisibility,

I watched the daily goings on

Of the normal, dreary drudge.

Lugh buzzed normally at a higher rate

And couldn’t be detected,

Unless he purposely wanted to be seen.

So he and I strolled hand in hand

Right down the main thoroughfare.

We saw the ones who were dying to live

And those that were living dead.

We saw the bullies, the hard of heart,

The slow to understand.

We saw the victims.

We saw the scowls

At the happy little children.

We saw some pious adorning our mounds

With prayers and flowers and crystals.

I stopped to read their bodies,

Hoping to comprehend

What motivated them to stop their lives

And worship us as better.

Their body language told no lie.

I could so clearly see

That some came in fear

And meaningless superstition,

Hoping to guard themselves from bad luck,

Or scared not to give their alms.

Others came looking for a chance to change fate,

To increase the odds that Lugh might see their plight,

Take interest, and offer his wisdom, his aid,

His knowledge as engineer.

Some came merely because a rut

Had grown up around them and kept them in—

Pure habit and custom to be handed down

For their descendents to not understand.

And some were simply in awe of Lugh,

Amazed at his above average abilities,

And wanted to ponder him, and the difference,

And why that was so extreme.

Lugh leaned and whispered into my ear,

“Do you want them to see us suddenly?

So you can see the reaction we get?”

“No,” I told him, quickly.

My heart was weighted, deep in thought,

Thinking about the many times

That I had tried to worship God,

And I wondered just what God had thought of me.

Chapter 36

I turned my eyes on Lugh.

Truth was, I rarely could take them off of him.

His exquisite form radiated strength and life,

His mind an ever moving matrix

Of wisdom, and liquid peace.

He was somewhat of a trickster,

But his antics made me smile.

And if those ones whose legs he pulled could see,

They would be thrilled to be found worthy

To receive such energy.

If they wanted, they could then wrestle

With the Invisible, Shining One,

And discover their own inner valiances,

And have a little fun scuffling with a god.

Of course he threw more than one

Hip out of joint in his time,

But he always rewarded those who would join him.

They were ever blessed and recognized.

I looked deeply into his body language as we walked.

He had aims and dreams and plans,

Things he desperately wanted.

I was part of it.

I made him into something else,

Just as he had me.

He loved the way I loved him,

So entirely, so completely,

So desperately, really.

But he also wanted heirs.

He wanted a legacy.

He wanted to push, to advance the minds

Of any bit of humanity

That would allow his input,

That would engage with him, to wrestle if you will,

With a different view of consciousness,

And awareness of strange realities.

His dreams drew me.

They were noble.

I wanted to be a part.

I wanted to vine around his hopes

And feel his beating heart

Against mine.

I wanted to wrestle with him, too.

He had been walking, letting me think unhindered,

Without any sign of his knowing

Until then.

He looked at me and smiled,

Pulled me closer,

And said, “Did someone say wrestle?”

Chapter 37

So we wrestle, he and I.

I grabbed him first and caught him bent,

And as he tried to grapple me,

I pulled him down and rolled him limp,

But he rolled with it

And came up hard, and caught me about the waist and tugged,

Till I spun flying about his head,

And then he wrapped me up.

I straightened one leg and popped across

His back, grabbed his calf muscle in my teeth

And nibbled just a trifling bit,

Enough to startle him, and he dropped his hold on me.

I scramble up

And make a run against him.

He catches me fast and whips me around,

Meets me face to face.

His eyes devour me.

I am done and undone all at once.

My, but that was fun!

Chapter 38

Today I had a son!

And having children with a god

Is nothing like the mortal way.

He popped out of my thigh half grown!

And as I bent to suckle him,

Lugh laughed, and said,

“Oh gracious no!

Don’t offer your breast to that young man!”

I didn’t dare to ask or wonder why that was unwise.

But Lugh had some special food in mind, I’m sure,

To feed to this shining joy, this bouncing, not-quite-baby boy

That hit the ground full speed.

And so I watched him run and gallop,

Climbing trees and packing a wallop

With anyone who dared to wrestle him,

Except Lugh, of course, who looked to be just fine

In handling the wild eyed lad.

And Lugh took upon himself to teach,

To educate the boy,

And everyday I saw him grow and learn

Amazing things.

It made me lonesome for my own two sons

That I had borne in the natural way,

That I had fed at my tender breast

And nursed their cares away.

I remembered times of the faintest tickle,

And thinking some milk had begun a trickle

Down my side

I would look, and it would be the tiny finger or hand

Of my son, on my breast, the trace of a span

That just barely touched me,

And yet pierced my heart like a sword.

And I cried, and I wondered how they were.

Chapter 39

I’m drawn to the little town today,

And so while Lugh and our son stay

And play, and Lugh teaches him complex equations,

I vanish with my ring, to watch the birth of a nation

Unfold in the quaint little berg.

I can see the families who are going to survive,

And those whose seed will ultimately die

Out and produce no more.

Some of them will grow thirty fold.

Some will be kings, and some will know

The secret of the ages past,

And those which they’ve never heard.

Miraculous engine, life, to me,

How some can start low and rise to be

Conquerors, victors of life.

What is the secret, I wonder.

Then I am drawn to an orphan band.

I watch them begging in this foreign land,

But some things are universal.

And when they finally find enough crumbs

To fill their bellies, the children hum

Joyful songs of silliness and of play.

They run like untamed animals

Into the outlying meadows and hills

And lose themselves in the beauty of nature’s day.

I want to find good homes for them,

But as I stop and think again,

I wonder who would raise them better.

For they are happy, and they are free

From the well-intentioned strictures,

From the synthetic, conforming orders.

And so I think that they may be

Part of the answer for the changing world.

Maybe my part is to somehow make sure

That they do have the necessities,

Then let them be unhindered here

With the hearts of unbridled, frolicking deer,

And the minds and the tongues of the unlearned.

And so I go to those few, sweet souls

Who seem to have an ear to hear,

And whisper suggestions for their excesses,

Food they have that would go to waste,

Clothes that hang only in wait of a moth.

And as they listen, and as they do,

Their ears get more receptive, too,

To the hunches I whisper in their ears,

Of easier ways, and hidden treasures,

And they find that they are lucky in life.

Good fortune finds them the perfect wife,

Or the perfect man.

They see the good hopes for the futures.

Their eyes get wide for the plan,

When they heed sweet intuition,

For if they were honest, my hints only echoed

Some deep premonition they already possessed

And the knowledge came,

As recollection.

Chapter 40

A blue moon shone tonight,

Or should I say, a Blugh One,

For when the moon is full yet twice

In a calendar month

The Old ones called it blue.

We sat around a hazel flame

While Lugh strummed his lyre and serenaded.

He crooned to me the love songs

Of the Moon and all her power—

How she melts down inhibitions,

How the reckless love can heal.

He sang to me promising his eye of hope,

Promising to always see

The best in me,

Lulling me into a dizzy haze,

Singing to me how gorgeous I was,

Staring at me deeply as he sang.

Then somehow the music carried on,

But I was in both arms of his.

I didn’t know how he was still plucking the strings

With both hands all over me.

His lips were warm and luscious,

Kissing me tender and sweetly.

Then I happened to see his tablet abuzz.

The rascal had been lip syncing.

His eyes got big as he saw me see,

And then he laughed and I did too,

But I knew he had recorded that song,

And I knew it was just for me.

Have I ever told you,

How much I really do love Lugh?

Chapter 41

“Come, Darling,” Lugh said decidedly,

“For we have other flocks to feed.

Put on your golden flying boots,

And come away with me

To the land of the Hyperboreans!

Yes, My Sweets!” He smiled, and offered me his hand.

“Do we need to pack for this?”

I asked, feeling completely unprepared.

“No need,” he said, “I will provide.”

I had no doubt he would.

And so I stepped simply up behind him,

Onto his wondrous flying tile,

And we took off north, just like that.

He told me as we took flight,

How the sun did never set

On this land that bore the chilled north winds

Out from a frozen birth canal,

Between two ice-capped fjords.

I held onto his broad blue shoulders,

And wondered if he was exaggerating.

But as I listened to his baritone,

He sang a melodious tune—

The Ballad of The Way.

It mesmerized me,

His knowledgeable chant.

It swooned me and romanticized

Some forgotten ancient lore

As we zipped through the atmosphere.

We flew straight north.

My hair whipped wispily about,

Tickling my arms and Lugh’s great neck.

I saw him smile a proud, satisfied grin,

And though I thought it impossible,

I fell more and more in love with him

With every passing mile.

Chapter 42

And so we spent some time up there

With a smith whose name was Weland,

And Lugh was showing him how to hone

Some techniques that he already knew.

He also showed him where to find meteorites

For the blades, and precious metals,

Which he and his two brothers would discover

As the key to their strange destiny.

Lugh worked as hard as I’ve ever seen him,

Up here in this northern country.

He had a special hammer and worked side by side with the men.

They marveled at his ability, and thought his hammer magic,

But it was just his determination that put him over them.

I loved the people of the Norse.

I wanted to stay forever.

I didn’t understand their words,

But body language is universal.

And so I did what I do best—

Whispering sweet suggestions,

Of where to take the extras for the ones who were in need.

Then I also had the benefit of being goddess-like and beautiful,

And so inspired a sexiness in the women and the men,

And so I am sure that after we left,

Oh, maybe some 9 months later,

There was quite a baby boom

In the land of the midnight sun.

Chapter 43

But Lugh said that we really must return.

He told me that he ventured up this way

Only every 20 years or so,

And so I assumed that we were going

Back to his blue lair.

But he caught my thought mid-think, and said,

“Oh, no! That is not home.

That is just the site of our Eternal Honeymoon.

Now I will take you to my Beulah Land.

I planned our wedding for the end of this two decade run—

To bring you like this to these two places first.

But darling, I always save the best for last.

That’s why I waited as long as I did for you.”

And so we stepped together onto his flying tile.

He pressed some buttons and with a whooshing wind

And a mighty roar of unseen engines fierce,

We defied gravity, and primitive ideas again.

And as we left I heard them shout his name,

And although I’d never understood their words,

I realized they were copying the deafening sound

Of our take off. They were chanting very loud,

“THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

Chapter 44

So we flew! It seemed to me due south,

With maybe a touch of east thrown in there, too,

But straight as a string pulled tight,

We buzzed across latitudes, along that longitude.

And sometimes, Lugh would point out some great thing.

And sometimes, we would land and he would show

Me the mystery, of why the thing had been constructed so.

Stonehenge was on our way, and we stopped there.

Lugh shone for me, and he said that where he stood

Would show the exact slant the sun’s rays would enter in and angle

On some certain days, and how the minerals waltzed!

And he stepped off space between the megaliths

To show me the divinely ordered ratio,

And how it was an exact replica

Of the distance between planets in our solar system.

We flew right over the fields of Brittany, France,

And as we did, the shine from our flying tile

Also made those stones seem to dance, and

Illumined complex shapes and geometry.

And twice we landed just to make quick pit stops

Where the locals had constructed great domes

Just for Lugh (and me).

I wondered if they knew they’d just commemorated

The place where his bodily fluids had hit the ground.

But, they had built him quite the honorary mounds

For something as urbane as that.

We continued on, and I could see

Lugh’s body rippled with anticipation.

The weather lulled warm, and the landscape changed.

It felt like a dreamy balm of Mediterranean.

I saw a glimmering palace as large as a mountain—

Power and majesty radiant from on high!

“I have a home in there,” Lugh pointed nonchalantly.

“But first we’re going to my cave,

At Delphi.”

Chapter 45

Lugh put the tile on some high-tech autopilot,

And turned to face me, smiled into my heart,

Embraced my soul and kissed me to the bone.

I felt my spirit explode and come apart

From a nuclear core, and meltdown followed next.

This was more than love, and better than sex.

This was more satisfying than stolen goods restored.

It bordered on, then, bolted past, mere renovation.

Greater than a pupa metamorphosis, this was re-creation!

This kiss sealed some everlasting promise,

That finally I was where I longed to be,

That I was home and one with destiny,

And one with him who’d always loved me.

So suddenly it grasped me unaware—

Just flying with Lugh in the bright mid-air,

But there was no denying how right

Everything shifted to equanimity,

From “lack,” and “cheat,” and “want,” and “so unfair!”

Then as he loved me in the shining sun,

And atoms glittered and fused and fissioned,

The tile swooped into the mouth of a damp, stale cave.

Darkness swallowed us, and I lost all vision.

And then everything faded into sudden black.

Chapter 46

I wake upon a cold and chalky stone,

And Lugh is lying close—so close to me!

The only light a scattered glimmer shining up

From the boots and helmet of gold he made for me.

But where is his shine?

I yawn and stretch, and he moves in his sleep.

I watch as his eyes flutter up and down.

Then they spark open, and I see a brilliant shimmer

Start to kindle in his face then streak around

From his head all the way to his feet,

Like a blaze of propane-fueled blue-fire and heat.

He adjusts and throws a heavy arm

Over my torso and pulls me back down to him.

I feel his every muscle, every twitch

Of manly strength, ability, and desire.

He rolls me up and kisses me, and rolls me down,

And I am dizzy from the dark, the tiny lights,

And from his power.

His love overcomes my questions and curiosity,

And for that moment, all that exists is him inside of me.

Now his light is full as breaking day,

And a radiant glow illuminates

This opulent chamber deep within the cave.

The shine of gems abounds in wealth and treasure.

He bursts into the morning like the Sun,

Rising from his honeymoon to meet abundant morning.

He kisses me and fills me with his love,

And asks me if I’m ready for this day.

Wide eyed, I sit upon the stone and wonder,

What anyone would be prepared to say.

His words have such a “here you go” type presence.

Their ring still echoes through the splendored cave.

I sense that I should know their deeper meaning,

But, I still feel a bit like a prisoner, or a slave.

He stops at once to understand my feelings.

Tears fill his eyes, and he drops to his knees.

“Oh, no! Sweet Goddess! No further, till the brave truths

Catch up to your mind in powerful reality.

We must have a talk.”

Chapter 47

And so he began unraveling the tapestry,

Unweaving times wasted, works, and history.

He told me of a moment, a lifetime or two ago,

When possibilities all ended, and these tears began their flow

Like raging rivers from a bitter spring,

How jealousy and insecurity ruined everything,

And then, how persistence and wisdom might turn the tide,

For now, a chance existed to abide

Right back in the glory of love’s great face,

Right back, to win this time, and feel the grace

Of victory over the churls of hate and losses,

And all that had surpassed us both in our young and immature ways.

“Your name,” he said, “was Coronis in that day,

And there had been no other real love than you,

But horrid envy of other goddesses and nymphs

Had made you bow and scrape and bear their trays.

And you had done it, for you were ridden with the guilt

That you had been so blessed with many gifts,

And they had not.

And they thought by breaking you

That they could laugh, first, at your fall,

And second, that they could relish having me

To themselves. I am Apollo, after all.

And so their spiteful words and hazing strife

Sunk deep into your soul, and stole your life,

And lo, these thousand years, for you I’ve pined,

And spent every spare moment of intellect to find

The way to undo the things so cruelly done,

And turn back the clock and time, and stop the Sun,

So that we could un-abort that minute,

And let life thrive in us, and us in it.”

And I sat dumbly, knowing all of it was true,

But all I could say was, “I thought your name was Lugh…”

Chapter 48

And so, while he explained linguistic evolution,

How the Eustachian canal often hears a mirror image,

And how the labial aspirants erode away after time,

I sat, like a stone, knowing all of that.

And yet my mind went on an enlightened journey.

I remembered my youth in that bygone life.

I remembered being pure as combed, sweet honey,

And how Apollo found me in the light,

How he saw me like no other ever had,

And how he loved me, and wished me for his own,

How I couldn’t believe the good,

And how I celebrated for one mere hour,

Until the nymphs and fates had come with a great millstone

And hung it around my neck in mock victory.

How their words had pierced my heart—

Telling me all the things I didn’t deserve,

And first on the list was him,

Who’d sworn to love me and to preserve

My soul and hope.

I wanted nothing more than their approval,

Which never could have been mine to this day,

If I had carried out the stark removal

Of every mountain ever in their way.

I tried to tell him how the thing was going,

But being so godly, he just couldn’t see,

And so I’d turned to another mortal

To confide in, for he was more like me.

And then the nymphs had told my love some stories,

And maybe just a few of them were true,

But I had done the best I could that lifetime,

And so my chance with them was all but through.

But every identity I’d lived since then,

The same type thing had come around,

Driving my spirit into the ground

With the “things I never deserve.”

The good things, well, I didn’t deserve them,

Because of all the guilt I had.

And the bad things… I didn’t deserve them either,

For I didn’t think I’d been that bad,

And so confusion and mindless logging

Along, and getting nowhere in life

Was all I had to show

For all the life-energy and universal gifts

Which were continuously being bestowed.

And I saw now, how I had been so lucky!

But yes, I had often stooped and bowed,

Doing the bidding of others,

Never fulfilling my own life vow,

Living the path more chosen,

But, rather letting others choose my way for me.

And so I was angry.

And so I cried.

And the remorse of seeing it all so clearly

Pressed me hard

Into myself,

So very hard,

That death felt imminent,

Again.

Chapter 49

And so Lugh shed his tears with mine.

We cried in utter anguish.

We cried until the tears pooled,

There on the cave’s damp floor.

The waters rose, with us still sobbing,

Still holding each other in solace—

The salty stillness rising up,

‘Til it was more than waist high.

And then a dam broke somewhere,

Whether natural or un-natural,

And flooded us out, cascading down,

On the rapids of bitter regret.

The churning rush kept turning us

Over and over and out of control,

And we tried to hold onto each other,

But the force was much too much,

And something deep within my soul

Kept willing me to live, now.

Self-preservation instincts were all

The wisdom I could hear.

“Keep your head above the waters.

Breathe. Now, let your body go limp.

Float above this tribulation,

If you want to live.”

And although the sadness had been so deep,

And the thoughts of not living had seemed the better,

Now faced with that distinct possibility,

It suddenly seemed the worse.

Chapter 50

I wake, and I’m in Texas.

The year is 1978.

I’ve just been awarded a prestigious position

That I didn’t expect to receive.

I am shocked, but ecstatic,

Not even comprehending what it all means, yet,

When I see three popular older girls

Heading straight toward me.

Their eyes are smiling like fateful daggers.

Their teeth are gleaming hungrily,

And they come with lies of initiation,

And tell me to follow them.

They insist that to be fully accepted,

I must go to the cafeteria.

Once there, I must humbly carry their trays.

And somehow, I know, I have done this before.

And somehow, I know what I didn’t know then.

And somehow, the memory is healed when I say,

“No. I won’t carry your trays.”

And I turn, and I leave. I allow myself

To enjoy the day, and sing to myself,

Under the shine of the universal smile.

Chapter 51

So pardon me if I’m not virginal.

But I have been loved deeply by a god.

It makes me less able to put up with the fertilizer

That many spew falsely from their deluded minds.

But, I have been confirmed by the loving desires

Of one who sought greatly for me.

All my regrets have been dropped forever,

The guilt, the wanting insufficiency,

Drowned in a sea of forgetfulness,

A place where I was truly dead—

The pool of his tears and mine.

And maybe I am just a middle-schooler, now,

Thirteen, but you will wonder,

Why it is that my eyes seem old,

Why I seem, all at once, such a child,

And in a slight turn, a goddess,

A woman of everlasting love.

“How can one be so naïve,” you may ask,

“So innocent, and yet,

So completely in the know?”

Well, I have told you.

And I know that Lugh is still watching over me,

And waiting for another portal to open.

I can feel him, this time, so close to me,

Bathing me with the fires of immortality,

His sweat, his sweet tears, carburizing me,

Burning away all that is temporary.

We made great gains against fate last time,

And next time, who knows, it might just work.

Maybe then, we can live happily ever after, together.

But, I plan to continue, as wise as a serpent,

And, as joyous as a dove, for right now.

Sometimes intense and

Heated passion

Rips the veil from

Top to bottom,

And the brilliant bursts of

Blinding love

Break through to pierce the soul.

More common, the sweet glimpses

Of raveling and unraveling,

And through the threadbare gingham

Catch simple glances of the whole.

But Love is the reality,

Love, the warming urges that send our minds

Embracing, washing all the lines away,

Melting Pride’s control.

And Love it is that

Apocalypses

Into Revelation.

Love rips the curtain open

In a thundering, powering roll.

And it is Love

That tenderly, patiently

Ravels and Unravels,

Peeking thru the gingham,

Wearing out the faded threads

Of Life’s Material.