Fat, Ugly, and Stupid

“Yes, Doctor, sometimes I feel

Fat, ugly, and stupid.
Will you tell me,
Is that hormonal?”

“Well I don’t know, now let me see.

Hop up on my table,
Oh please, without the girdle.
Let me have a look at you.
Hmmmm. Well I’ll just be.
In my honest and, never to be humble,
Educated opinion,
It’s stupid, to feel stupid,
Ugly to feel ugly,
And honey, you ain’t fat,
So I would say, ‘yes,’
It must be quite the hormonal experience.
Burn the girdle,
And take three days off.”

 $137.50 and I shaved my legs for that….

 

-jenn long