I wish I were intolerant to dishwater
And toilet wands
Instead of gluten and lactose.
I wish my system couldn't take a microscopic amount
Of boorish behavior from know -it-alls,
Or self-absorbed control freaks.
I wish I had a doctor's note
That would get me out of empty meetings,
And prescribe for me long walks by the lake.
I wish I were averse to haters, fear-mongering remarks from insecure people, and the jealous snide of critics,
Instead of being hypersensitive
To sugarcookies and milk.

-jenn