Come my children and I will explain
How the millions of grains of sand
Came to be on the beach.
In the olden days of yore,
The olden giants ate more and more
Til they were giant-er,
And the other gods were startled at
How fat the giants had become,
And so, as the gods before them did,
They came up with a food pyramid
To instruct the giants in ways to lose their girth,
Recommended for all but those who were preggers,
Or at the moment giving birth.

Now the food pyramid in those days
Had a big layer on the bottom, of spinach dip,
With the next tier being nuts,
And no ifs or ands, but the next layer
Was a healthy portion of smoked meats,
With potatoes, tomatoes and eggplant next,
Followed by berries and cherries
And chocolate on top.

Now I could stop here, but let me state, that these foods, while slimming,
Are high in oxalates, and that, dear friends, was the problem,
Because giant is as giant does,
And the giants developed giant kidney stones,
And in a desperate attempt to solve them,
Or dissolve as the case may be,
They drank too much kombucha tea
And shattered into a zillion pieces
And washed up and down along all the beaches,
And that, my dear children, is where allllllll that sand came from.

- jenn