I heard a woman in the store
Chide her squirming little boy.
She told him
That it wasn't nice
"To wiggle."

She told him o'er and o'er and o'er
How it wasn't nice
"To wiggle."

I got so tired of hearing her speak,
So pained and so controlling!
"Such a whining sniveling beak face!"
I thought to myself,
And had the urge "to wiggle"
Right in front of her,
Or slap her in the face and say,
"Let him go, so he can wiggle in peace!"

And how did she think that it's not nice
To wiggle when you dance or swim,
And how did she think that she made him,
That wiggling little boy,
Without a little wiggling joy?
But maybe that's the problem.
No joy in Muddville!
No wiggling on the top or bottom.
Not a pro, and not creative,
Just a job to do
To provide America with your 2.2 children
And be on your pragmatic way.
No fun, smiling or wiggling allowed!

-jenn