If I die suddenly and without cause,
I want you to know it was all due to a plastic fork
I was using to stir my stew.
A tine broke off and melted in
Without my knowledge.
I stirred it thoroughly into the soup
And then I ate it.

But the true cause of death
Should go down on the certificate,
"Gluten Intolerance,"
For never would I use a plastic fork to stir my stew
If it weren't for the need I have
For an uncontaminated utensil,
And the only things I hadn't used
Were that plastic fork and a number two pencil,
And I didn't want lead poisoning.

But little do I know what effect
Ingesting plastic may have.
I'm hoping for something beneficial,
Like more elastic skin
Or stretchy bones.
Truth be told, I'm hoping to go all super heroine
And be the best Plastic Woman
You and this world have ever seen!

And I don't know---
Im gluten intolerant,
But if I can't eat my daily bread anymore
Maybe I'll discover and recommend
The daily dose of plastic,
If I live.
But if I don't,
Please, tell the coroner why.

-jenn