Beautiful Baby

Jesus said you must be born again.

I considered. I took these words to heart,

And decided if I were to begin again,

I might try for a different start.

I felt that maybe I might have the need

For the speed of an all-American running back.

I've already got the thighs,

So why not have the instincts, heart, and eyes,

The vision to see the play unfold,

The wherewithal to make it to the goal,

The class to hand the ball off to the ref,

And act like I've been in the end zone a time or two,

So I figured only Barry Sanders would ever do to be my father.

And since I have a penchant for art and drama,

Big hair and growing bra-less,

I think, for a mama I'll choose Farrah Fawcett.

Now I feel I'm the only one I have to please, here,

But I hope I haven't offended Jesus

By not choosing someone others consider holy.

I hope the Lord knows I'm only doing my best,

For the most perfect things I've ever seen on earth,

Are Barry Sanders dancing his way to touchdown heaven,

And Farrah Fawcett's breasts in that swimsuit poster 

I saw in 1977.

-jenn