“What are you doing?” I asked my friend.

I saw her putting deodorant on the armpit of the outside of her shirt.

“I’m putting on deodorant.”

“Yes but most people put it on their skin,” I said,

“And try NOT to get any white streaks of it on their clothing.”

“Well I want men to see me for who I am,” she declared.

“And I want my prospective man to know

That I wear deodorant and a lot of it,

And he’s gonna have to buy it for me

When we get married!”

“Oh,” I said,

And suddenly understood what backward approaches I’d always had

To attracting the right type of guy.

-jenn