I Still Want To

I’m a tax deduction.

People been writing me off for years.

But I’m still here.

People been telling me

Where I don’t want to be,

And what I don’t want to do.

But I’m telling you,

I’m still here,

And I still want to.

The only true words I ever heard at school 

Were from

Ms. Clara Nell McDermott Westerman Spencer,

My 7th grade Texas history teacher

When someone groaned

And then complained, 

“Do we have to, Mrs. Spencer?”

The southern belle from Callahan County

Turned and raised one eyebrow and said,

“The only two things you HAVE to do

Are die, and pay taxes!”

But I’m telling you,

I’m still here,

And I still want to!

-jenn

 I wish I could communicate

All the things I’d like to say to you

When I read your lovely wit

You’ve writ to me upon this page.

But that might take all day

And night.

It might take tomorrow, too.

But does a picture speak a thousand words?

Maybe you heard me

Right after I thought of you

Telling me this?

Yes, maybe you heard me smile?

-jenn

 I’m listening to jazz,

Getting some gas.

I go in to pay.

A big man with other worldly eyes 

Asks me if I can spare some change.

“We’ll see,” I say,

“If I have anything left.”

The girl behind the counter hands me 

Back a dollar 

And three pennies.

I don’t even bother

To pocket the dollar.

I know I’m just going 

To give it to him.

And back outside,

He’s straddling his bike,

Standing tall on the sidewalk

On this gloomy October 

Rainy day,

Staring at the sky,

With his lovely, other worldly eyes.

And I hand him the dollar.

And then, I keep on 

Walking toward my car.

“Thank you, Pretty Lady,”

I hear him say as I go.

I really want to pick him up

And take him home with me,

But, unfortunately, you see,

Thats how people wind up murdered,

Here, in Canton, 

Canton, Ohio.

-jenn

 What The....

Her face is fresh as beach sand,

Her eyes as blue as deep,

Her hair like billowing seaweed swoons

All the way down to her feet,

But is she a her?

Some say they’ve seen her down by the Loch.

Others say “Kelpie,” under their breath

While the old men talk about seeing her.

One of the villagers gave me a strange look

As I walked by.

Did he say he recognized 

My sand-fresh face,

My sea weed hair,

The teasing, tempting smile

That lies there just beneath 

My deep blue stare?

But am I the “me”he speaks about,

That he has seen

Down by the water’s gleaming edge?

A mystery to be unwound, or

Answers better left unfound,

In a world that teems 

With infinite possibilities?

-jenn

 Total Eclipse 

And now we have a clean clear sun.

We can appreciate it.

It was gone.

You did not notice?

It his behind the moon two hours,

And while it did,

It considered its powers,

And all that it might be when it grows up.

One day it’s shining will be done.

It pondered that while it was hidden,

But for now, we have a clean clear sun.

We can appreciate it.

It was gone.

You did not notice?

-jenn

 Yes 

I pedal through day and I pedal through night

And night is cool 

Like glass on ice

And day is warm

Like the sun on your smile

And The Doors are playing 

The riders are storming

Jim Morrison’s singing

Bells are ringing 

The music is fading

Now heavy metal chimes

Collide with me

My teeth are grinding 

I’m dreaming aren’t I

Or is that just you

Telling me Good Morning 

-jenn

 Van Gone

The bells ring,

And instantly, I’m back in Arles.

The wind is here,

And no one quarrels 

About the things that should have been.

But there is grief.

There is sadness here,

Because the madness was so great,

To such degree,

And yet your greatness,

So yet to be seen.

But this is how it’s affected me:

That everyone I meet in Arles,

I treat as if I already see

The genius spark

That they must carry deeply unseen 

Within their hearts.

And when I speak, I can only say,

“So lovely you are to me....”

-jenn

 Unless I Want To

Why has the world been telling me that my yard is full of weeds,

When it seems to be full of edible herbs?

Why did my school urge me so strong as they did

To eat the food pyramid from the bottom up?

It made me weak and tubby!

Then they told me I was old and needed to replace both my knees,

But my knees have been fixed by free exercises!

The entire surface of our world

Runs on greed and false advertising.

I’m calling my power back.

I get to decide

What is right for me.

And I’m not going to take it lying down 

Unless I want to.

-jenn

 Valley Spirit 

How do I think I could help someone 

When I am in such dire need?

Like the valley helps the mountain, 

I lay low.

If my advice to you

Seems slow to come,

It is because I’m deaf and dumb

And cannot speak from here,

Deep in the spirit of the valley,

Helping the mountain climb its heights.

Sometimes it takes all my might

To lay so low.

-jenn 

 

 Consensitive

When I’m lonely, I play a game.

I add a zero to my name

And clock a notch on nothingness 

And guess at what’s back there

Behind the darkness.

And then I see beyond the veil,

That there’s mostly nothing there,

So I add a zero to my hair,

And up the ante by being still 

And going nil.

And in the quiet of the night,

I add a zero to my diet

And quit the pace,

And add another to my face,

And zeros play all over the place,

My hands, my feet,

The empty street outside my open door.

I add zeros until there are no more,

Or maybe there are some that I can’t see

But the infinite joy I feel

Behind my eyes so closed and free from light,

Exponentially keeps me safe

And out of sight from many a blunder.

But I do wonder,

What all this space would ever do

If anyone could ever add the number two

To all those zeros.

But from somewhere deep

Within the mystery,

A voice says, “I will show you everything you want to know ,

And anytime you want to bend and flow 

And grow with the dark infinity,

Just add a zero.”

-jenn