I remember once our family pet,
A Standard Collie, went into heat
And only found for herself
A little chihuahua she could breed.
(Now this isn't a statement about
Arranged marriages.
However, this may be part of the popularity
And demand for things like E-Harmony
And farmers only dot com,
Although their success rate remains to be seen.)

But this recollection serves today
To simply say that we children laughed
At how our big dog found a way to let him.
How she hunkered, poised just so,
Down on the ground, to get low enough
For him to get her,
And how we cackled, how we guffawed,
At his earnest and comical attempts
At humping her.

Then he succeeded and got it on,
And they went on and on and on
Til it was over,
And then our laughter changed to fear.
Our parents could now hear our plaintive cries
Inside where they sat, presumably
Reading the paper and watching tv.
Terrified, we cried out,
"He's stuck to her! They're stuck together!"

But our parents never even came to see.
We stared awkwardly,
And were afraid to move in too close to interfere.
Their personal space cut a large swath across our yard,
And finally we moved away from them
And went to play somewhere else out back
Where we couldn't see them anymore.

But it was a sight I would never forget,
Natures way of not allowing
The male to mate and run.
Human males have evolved to stay for a little cuddle
And some pained, howling conversation.

And it also makes me think that
We, as humans, should be careful who's around
When we go into heat.
You never know who you might get stuck with.

-jenn