Day 1 In the Wilderness 

I feel fine

Now I greet people with the phrase,

“So what,” or “And....”

And my new way to say “goodbye,” is:

“May you Rest In Peace.”

Already now, I cackle a crazy crow laugh,

To think how that will be received 

I paint my face and shoulders and torso

With the red and blue clay I find 

On the banks of the ——— River

I don’t know its name yet

But it will reveal itself to me

When it knows that I am ready 

Here is some black earth

Rich with composted humectants

The stench has left it

The water purified it through 

And now it smells like an ancient fertile valley 

That lies waiting for seeds to come to rest 

And burrow themselves in naturally 

And grow

I take two fingers and dip them

Into this black creamy loam

And put two streaks of it beneath both eyes

And one from the crown of my forehead 

Down along the center of my nose

My fingers jump over my mouth

And then land to dot the middle of my chin with it

In this way, I continue my journey

Considering the many ways

One may be blessed 

To rest in peace 

While we still live.

—-

I turn like a shadow on a sundial 

Telling Time

I croon my neck 

Like a Sunflower after the Sun all day

At night I watch the darkness move

Across the deep

Like a Lover

Who expectantly waits

On the steps of my porch 

Come for me, Night

Cool my parched lips 

And give me rest

Nourish me, refresh my hunger pangs 

With the great fasting 

Prepare my hands for Tomorrow 

I have healed the sick with my great Love for them

I have cast out demons and cancers when I prayed

Now it’sTime to raise the dead

And walk where Angels fear to tread 

—-

My left shoulder hurts and the back of my right knee

But underneath my war paint melts

The face I hate

The one I saw in the white man’s mirror 

The same one I saw my mother wore

When her mask would fall

When my father shocked her yet again 

When she thought she’d chinked the cabin of her mind

But how did he find the one weak link

Every time, to shock her with some needless hurt 

One face launched a thousand ships they say

But this face launched me 

I’m gone

And yet, this face will melt,

And be replaced with something new,

Something shockingly unshockable

Because beneath the face,

The heart cries out for wholeness.

-jenn