To Hermit, or Not To Hermit

I’m nothing but an empty shell.

A hermit crab did once upon a time

House himself in me.

But now I see him moving on.

He’s much too big for me,

Outgrown this covering.

He is off to find something roomier.

Or maybe it is I who am the crab?

Maybe the drab shell has infringed upon

The larger ways I need to carry on, now?

Maybe that is me I see, moving on?

Or maybe truly I’m the shell,

Passively waiting for another small crab

To come and dwell in me, again?

My identity has come loose,

And I’m confused for now,

Just what part of the world I am?

And whether I’m the hermit crab shell

Or the hermit crab, itself,

Who can say?

Who can guess?

But either way, I’m a hermit, nonetheless.

-jenn

 Tell Me, About Yourself, he said.

I used to live in a glass home.

But now I live in a plastic dome

In my underwear.

I used to be a lot of things:

A wife a mother, a string theorist,

But not anymore.

I’m nothing it seems.

But I’m happier this way.

Maybe I’ve become a sentient being.

Maybe I’ve just lost my way. 

Maybe I’ve found it.

What can I say? 

I’m truly a no one from nowhere

Who does nothing. 

But I’m so much happier this way.

-jenn

 Starstruck 

Are you trying to seduce me,

Like a star

That sines in my night?

I see it glimmer from afar,

But it has a certain je ne sais quoi.

It holds my attention quietly.

And now I close my eyes.

I stand on my porch,

But I can still see

You, glimmering at me.

It’s time for me to go to bed,

But I’m standing here staring at you instead.

The cool night air is charming me,

And your easy going smile disarms me.

I’m closing my eyes as I walk back in.

I’m going to keep them closed.

I hope I don’t walk into a wall, again,

But it might be worth it, just to see,

If I can carry this starry vision of you

To bed with me, tonight.

-jenn

 Over

The notes are dropping from the band,

The tones, 

Encapsulated wishful thinking.

They pop like bubbles on my skin

And rush up my spine,

Straight to my brain,

To tell me what he said about me.

“I don’t care,” my brain replies.

This reply drops, like a bomb,

Of self awareness and authority,

Back down my spine and out each nerve.

My appendages all breathe

A sigh of hope and sweet relief.

“I think it’s finally over,” they concur.

-jenn

 The Wind Blows

The wind blows hot.

The wind blows cold.

“Which way is the world turning, mama?”

My son asks me.

And I don’t know.

“Well,” he continues, 

“If the scientists at nasa want to shoot

A rocket to the sun at night,

Which way it up?

Which way down?”

“I’m thinking,” I say, but that’s not true.

I quit dissecting long ago.

Now all I know is,

The winds blow hot,

The winds blow cold.

It doesn’t matter. 

It’s all the same to me.

-jenn 

 I’m in love with you

So much so

That I can sit without ever moving 

And watch you from a distance 

 I smile

My heart is full of bliss

Watching all the drama unfold

In your universe 

I’m in love with you

So much so 

That I will stand here 

And never tell you

-jenn

 I sat in a warm breeze 

On a short November afternoon,

Not thinking of anything in particular,

Not hankering after anything at all.

The deep tones of the wind chimes 

Played soulful melody,

And, just at sunset, a cricket began to sing.

-jenn