He thinks people are really gonna come from miles around
Just to go to the Little Caesar's
Where he makes pizza
Because he sings while he slops the sauce,
"Blam da da blam da dam da dam dammmmm!"
And makes loud remarks about sodium and so forth.

But if they made a movie about this,
He would be the comic hero,
And they would get someone great,
Like Bill Murray, to play his part.
And we who mock and roll our eyes
Would be the small minded antagonists,
Played by nobodies
Or unpaid extras.

- jenn