I woke my son up from

A sound sleep

On a Friday night

To watch a baseball game

I knew he'd been wanting to see.

I saw it playing on tv!

"Mom," he said, very patiently,

"That was on last night.

What's on tonight must be a replay.

The cat probably stepped on the remote

Or something and accidentally turned it to that recording,

But the game is over,

And my team won."

"Oh, Ok," I said.

Well...

Sometimes I feel all of life is a playback.

I feel I've done all this before.

(And it's going to be ok,

As long as some great cosmic cat doesn't get

A hold of the remote.

Oh, and I do hope your team wins,

Mine usually doesn't 😀!)

-jenn

People ask us how we've been.

We say fine.

They smile and ask what we've been up to.

We see in their eyes

What they're wanting to hear,

That we're going to college,

Holding down jobs.

I lower my eyes,

Raise my chin,

And say, we're waiting for the world to end.

So we do the best we can

To get through every day.

We play cards and video games,

Hearts and Spades and Call of Duty.

So if sometimes we fail to brush our teeth,

Or comb our hair,

Or worry if our underwear is clean,

We're not like you.

We can't deny the true course of nature,

Or the saturated way the world has come to be,

And so we hack it best we can.

We're waiting for the world to end.

-jenn

Ignorance speaks,

Mocks itself,

Bastardizes it's own DNA,

Bullies and scoffs it's way to town

With a hollow, indigent puff of smoke 

From a cheap cigarette purchased

With stolen lunch money.

But history is a diamond with many facets,

And those who see with open eyes

And hearts

Hold one hand out in loving silence, with the authority 

To say, 'Stop,

You're only ridiculing yourselves,

And disrespecting the truth,

And only by embracing dignity

For yourselves and all your fellow people

Will understanding be achieved,

And honest soul reparations can then begin."

-jenn

When you marry in the afternoon,

And the wedding goes till dusk,

Skip the reception,

Honeymoon in the twilight,

Eat your cake in bed,

Laugh til Daybreak.

Sleep a little in the early dawn,

And when you wake,

And the sun shines hot,

And wind blows the curtains

Into a knotted domicilic camisole,

Take it off!

Run! Jump off your balcony

Into the hotel pool

And swim away,

So you will never know

How the story ends,

And you will never have to see

Love grow cold, or die.

-jenn

When you marry in the afternoon,

And the wedding goes till dusk,

Skip the reception,

Honeymoon in the twilight,

Eat your cake in bed,

Laugh til Daybreak.

Sleep a little in the early dawn,

And when you wake,

And the sun shines hot,

And wind blows the curtains

Into a knotted domicilic camisole,

Take it off!

Run! Jump off your balcony

Into the hotel pool

And swim away,

So you will never know

How the story ends,

And you will never have to see

Love grow cold, or die.

-jenn

Everything out here leans north from the constant south wind.

Everything has a certain bent and a certain beauty in its situation.

It looks one way but seems another,

And yet is neither of the two.

The grasses and the thistles seem to grow with a heart for one direction,

But the winds that blow without cessation

Are their true loves.

And nothing really ever quits,

Just changes,

Except our roots, which grow straight down 

Toward the exact, due center

Of the earth.

-jenn

I watch the tall grass blow.

I expect to see a rabbit,

But it's just me here,

Walking the prairie alone.

The sun goes down.

The colors change.

Now the moon has come 

To walk with me 

Into the midnight.

He is happy to see me.

He says he shined all night last night,

But no one bothered to look up,

Much less smile at him.

-jenn

I have so many dreams that want me to have them.

They come to me on this rainy day,

And I am weary from

My travels,

So I give in to them.

I lay down and think of you and dreams come.

I sleep so hard I drool on my pillow.

I see you have come into my dream.

You snoop around my room while I'm asleep, 

But you won't find anything 

More important to me than you 

In here.

-jenn

I wish you could see how many butterflies there are,

How many flowers there have been,

And yet I hope I am the only one for you.

The world has turned so many times,

Countless romantic sunsets

And sunrises,

And yet, in the secret place within my heart,

I hope I am the only one for you.

-jenn

I finally found some food I like to eat,

And the owners loved to see me

Relish all their tasty wares.

But after two weeks of coming every day,

One of the brothers took me to the side

And told me I was getting fat,

And he hated to see that,

And so he was banning me from Mt. Everest Cafe.

And though he was sad

That he would not see me any more,

He said that he was glad to save the world

From seeing me go downhill

Before my time.

-jenn 

The agency has sent me to a big party in Vienna.

I'm supposed to investigate 

The rooms on the second floor

For top secret information,

But I'm mesmerized by the waltzes,

And stand looking over the balcony 

To see who's dancing with whom

And which of the couples are in love.

-jenn

I like it here because it is lonely.

This is one of the loneliest places in the world.

Rocks and stickers in the swells of heat,

Thistles, nettles and mosquitoes

Are the only things that thrive in the chalky soil.

And me, I am a lonely nettle

Here on the plains,

With my dark leaves, my fancy white polkadots.

My flowers scent intoxicates,

But no one dares to smell them

Except the loneliest butterfly,

Desperate for the best nectar bits.

It lands gingerly on my sturdy flower petals,

Carefully feeds between my stinging tendrils.

It's dainty feet tickle me.

I feel the deep yearnings and satisfaction of pollination occur,

Throw my head back and laugh at the hot day sun,

And realize my work is never done here,

And it never will be.

-jenn 

This was the woods where I used to walk.

They dozed it years ago,

But it's already coming back,

Green and wild, bushy, thorny.

I would walk its trails for hours,

Quietly and deep in thought.

I don't remember what I used to think about.

One day while I was in there,

I heard a man whistling, singing forlornly.

I climbed up in a tree,

Both to hide, and to try to see who it was.

I never saw.

I never saw anyone in those woods but me.

And now a scrubby brush provides a cover.

Quail and dove and rabbits nest in there.

Squirrels bring acorns, and

The ones they forget grow into baby oaks.

Someday the forest will re-grow right here again.

I still can't remember what I used to think about,

So long in the woods by myself,

But the brush in my mind is providing a cover.

It's all coming back to me,

My thoughts growing wild with stories again,

And reforesting my heart with weird tales.

-jenn

My mother gave me a sprig of rosemary.

She put it in the hand that I'd been holding tight in hers.

She told me it would never wither,

Never die.

Then she boarded a silver train.

She never said goodbye.

I have held the rosemary

In my childish sweaty palm

For thirty years,

And I feel that smelling it

Has daubed my tears away,

And brought me to a sage understanding 

Of the places I have been.

And it has never withered

Or turned brown.

The magic sprig has stayed alive,

And so has the vivid memory

Of my mother.

She never said goodbye.

-jenn

I dreamed i slept with my hands in your hair

And awoke with my fingers

Tangled in the sheet.

A leg cramp wakes me,

Deep in my calf.

I'm missing something,

Calcium, potassium.

I squeeze the sheet hard and use it to pull myself up,

My heart in a cramp,

Missing you.

-jenn

You told me once

You wanted me to like you.

But did I dream

Of your eyes

Blowing like the sea

Around me in waves

While briny foam lingered

At my toes?

I dug them in the sand,

And salt water pooled.

The tide went out,

And came back in,

And I can tell you,

I do like you,

Very much.

-jenn

The sum of my streams

Run for you.

The king of the waters,

The timeless sea,

You've been pulling me

Downhill all along.

Did I ever wonder why

The sky smiled wryly?

The Milky Way has another mind.

My other destination waits.

Pearly gates, mansions call to some,

But my DNA predestinates 

A happy hunting ground

Where peaceful people dance.

I will prance and stomp.

My wild horse ways will get along

So perfectly at home here.

My nostrils flare, my dark eyes dart.

No cart can stay hitched to me.

No bit, no bridle,

Without a saddle, I gallop

And love and pasture on green valley grass

At nightfall, I fly, and now it's not a dream.

-jenn

I've lost the cord I pull when I need help,

And I'm lying here unconscious on the floor.

I can still hear everything you say,

But none of that matters anymore.

I see behind the veil of every word.

Every thought lies naked and bare,

And nothing remains in me except for love,

And one pale blue ribbon of life.

I tie it in my hair for you.

I have strung some lights down in the arbor hedge.

Tonight I'll light them one by one,

And if you come for me,

I'll meet you there,

And kiss you in the midst

Of all those velvet leaves,

And when you see the ribbon in my hair,

You'll know that it is just for you.

-jenn

There's nothing like eating a flower,

A pansy, a violet, a rose,

Daisy, cornflower, arugula,

Nasturtium.

The okra blossom is beautiful,

And may even be more delicious than the pod.

Lavender, rosemary, bergamot,

Such were the ambrosia of the gods.

And as for me, I believe

That one truly does become what one eats,

So may my sweetness never turn sour.

I'll make my bower from branches and stalks,

My nourishment, borage blooms

And flowers that I forage from your garden.

-jenn

I'm going to pretend the event is tonight

And take a hot bath and do my hair,

Slather rich emollients thickly.

Then I'll go for a long stroll

Down the walk canopied by old huge oaks and cottonwoods,

And dream of chasing rabbits like a hound,

And fighting pirates for their gold,

And by the time I fall into bed

I'll already be so sound asleep,

That I won't hear the nervous titters

Coming from my own soul,

And maybe tomorrow I'll be too consumed with life

To worry about the big event,

And my hair always looks so much better

When I don't fix it.

-jenn

Some people around here have two wives.

I have 1000 husbands.

It takes that much for me.

I'm needy.

I need to feel, to touch, to love,

To thrive.

I strive to anguish, writhing, wanting,

Like a worm, lost in the sun,

And can't find my way back to the dirt,

The earth from which I came.

-jenn

I don't want to study anymore.

I just want to know

In a Supra-cognitive way

All the renditions of reality

Without the high-pitched drama.

I want to stick my head up into the clouds

And feel the fine mist of dew precipitate,

Gather on my face and pool and trickle down

To reciprocate as freshwater tears.

I will ruminate and see

Each macro-microcosmos in the droplets that I eat,

Then it will be a part of me,

And I can know without knowing.

But I don't want to study anymore.

I just want to know,

Where do babies really come from?

-jenn

University squirrels have lived 

For generations on the grounds.

They can't read the epitaphs,

But play in the shadows of statues,

And they absorb the sounds of the bells that ring

From the lofty towers.

They dig small holes in the grassy common,

And watch the ignorant coeds kiss.

The squirrels chatter idle warnings

About playing with fire and chuckle

At the harmless fun the lovers think they're having.

But the squirrels don't laugh

When they see me

Wandering through the garden.

They remember the way I kissed you,

True fire, true heat, the boiling passion

That burns and longs.

The erudite university squirrels know

How I yearn to dig a small hole,

Pull you down in it with me

And love you,

For I am ignorant 

Concerning the wild beautiful ways 

Nature has to multiply Love.

-jenn

I fight the urge to say "I'm sorry,"

My entire life---a grand apology tour.

Sometimes people tell me there's no need.

"Then why do I feel there is?" I say.

Somebody told me I was born under a Capricorn moon,

And I will never truly feel loved,

That I will have to accept that I am loved, by faith.

And I don't know if this is true,

But something I do over and over,

I return to the Capricorn moon

And apologize for being born.

-jenn

I lived with a tiger in a tree,

And I could tell 

By the way it looked at me sometimes,

It was going to eat me someday.

And I didn't know

Which of my behaviors

Engaged it so,

And which ones made it want to chase me.

Finally the notion dawned on me

That I could live in another tree

And think of all the other things

That I don't know about tigers.

But I could live,

And think,

And not know

A little bit longer,

Maybe.

-jenn

No one can stand the way

The full moon in May

Lights up Big Creek.

Blossoms have fallen and float

On the shining water.

They twirl along and eddy up

By the rocks 

To dance together in the moonlight.

And if some passerby happens to look

Over and see them and all their magic,

He will fall to his knees

In rapt broken-hearted worship

And adulation,

And the face of his TrueLove

Will appear in his mind's eye,

And he will never worry again.

-jenn

This is an ocean breeze I feel!

Not natural to landlocked Oklahoma!

And this is not concrete,

But my bare feet in the sand.

I swear I can feel the salty waves

Kissing my feet,

And that I can smell the sea,

The deep part where the water's still still pure.

And can I feel the fall and rise

Of swollen tides?

Where am I now?

Where are you?

-jenn