I'm going back to begin my education again.

I'll make my start in a ju-co

In some foreign land.

I'll work at a cheesy American burger cafe,

Because I know what burgers are 

Supposed to taste like.

And I'll be so successful at being an American,

That I'll drop out of school as fast as I can

And take over the cheesy American burger joint

And be a star in my own foreign commercials.

I'll give up my scholarship to twirl baton

And hire the drum major away, too,

To be my chief fry cook.

I'll teach him to make the burgers extra fried to a crisp and cheesy.

I'll slap him

With a spatula and call him "greasy,"

But he won't know what that means,

Especially if I smile sweetly when I say it.

Then I'll retire as fortune five hundred's

Top female business owner of the year,

And Harvard will bequeath me a phd

Honorarily, pre-mortem!

And yet again,

I will never have cracked a book!

-jenn