Sunday, October 30, 2016

When I saw that look on her face, I quit.
I quit worrying and trying so hard.
Because she had already accomplished everything I had always wanted to do,
And at a much earlier age,
And yet, here she sat with that look on her face.
And I have seen that exact face many times in my own mirror,
And I know what it means.
It means it's never enough.
It's never good enough.
It's never done.
It's never complete.

And when I saw that look on her face, I knew
It never would be.

So I decided then and there that it could be.
It could be enough right now,
And now, it is.


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

When the cat mrrrrrows,
And he has the food he likes,
And I've just given him water,
And scratched his whiskers real good,
Then I know he wants to pick a fight
With me or the dog.
Better pick the dog today, buddy.


Friday, October 21, 2016

All of my children died when hers did.
I felt her pain to my core.
I identified with her completely
And none of my theologies worked anymore.
Nothing made any sense.
Nothing was right in the world.
For if a child can die before its parents,
Then nature is to be abhorred
By the vacuum that we try to call reality.

But can there be two sets of laws?
One for idealists with rose colored destinies?
One for scientists who say that every effect must have its cause,
And every cause its fate?
For we say whatever goes up must come down,
But certain rockets launched up
Into the heavens will never return,
Unless we call reaching the sun
And entering it's atmosphere
And burning into unrecognizable ashes
"Coming Down."


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

If when I'm me I become more like you,
Maybe, because we've been apart so long,
I've quit reacting, protracting on queue.
Even when I think I might be wrong,
Genetics and deep memories set at birth
Define the faces that I make and girth
I carry and my gait, and outlook, too.
I find I look like you, and if some pain
I find in that might seem to make me blue,
I have to smile and shake my head again,
And wonder if you ever felt that way too.


I can't believe what I believe these days,
And what I don't.
My beliefs are unbelievable,
While more credible creeds I find unpalatable.

Why do I feel there is more
Behind door number two
Then there is in full view
On the pedestal,
There for me to take at face value.

Beyond the illusion--
Is there truth?
Some say the universe has edges like a great picture frame,
Or, as once, in the ancient days,
When the world was new and flat,
And ships fell off when they sailed too far.

Maybe someday our cosmos will grow up round,
As the earth has in these modern days,
And we find we can sail east to go west.

Or if the 'edges theory' remains
And proves its truth,
What masterpiece of Reality might we find behind the canvas?
Or what great wall?
What fantastic nail will it all be hanging on?

I break my supplements in half
And swallow one each day.
Thus the chosen ones for me
Are broken ones from yesterday.
Now I don't know,
So you tell me
The meaning of this analogy.
Am I a god to them
Or they to me?
Does God break us all,
Yet all will be chosen eventually?
Or do we break our gods
So they will be
Easier to swallow?


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

One fossil at Vesuvius shows
A man who faced the blast.
He embraced his destiny,
Faced his fear,
And forgot about every past second
That had built his life up to that point.
He died with dignity,
Not cradled away in a fetal position,
Hiding from the futility of that day
In some last ditch moment.

And when the sun goes red giant,
And a gray vapor starts to rise,
And life gives way to the same green house gas
That exists now on Venus,
Yes! When our skies,
So once, so blue, erode,
I think that I will face the heat,
Or I'll face you,
And we can take each other
Hand in hand,
And become pillars of salt together
Looking ahead,
As strangers
In a very strange land.


Monday, October 10, 2016

Time comes knocking to borrow some money,
A couple of eggs,
A spoonful of honey.
It needs you to come and bring your car,
Checks up on you wherever you are,
Because Time is a relative.

Time will see you at five and raise you ten,
And always know just when you're bluffing,
And when you've got a hand.
And time will go slow when you're bored,
And put the accelerator down on the floor when you're having fun,
And fly,
Because Time is a relative.

But when you're down and out,
Things didn't go as you planned,
Maybe ole Time will drop by and give you a hand,
But I doubt it,
Because time is a relative.


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Today it took me twice as far
To reach that point where I said, "Pheeeeeeeeeew."
It took a mile and a half today,
And tomorrow it might take three,
But I'll do it whatever it takes
To get to that point
Where my water runs clean and pure
And my mind is free.

I live to reach this place where the emptiness tips out
And I become one with myself.
I see what matters.
Here is where what's real tips in
And fills my bucket with everything good,
And I'm happy.

This is the point where the wallflower me
Hears the irresistible rhythms
And dances right out of her shell
And moves into life with meaning and purpose
And beauty and love.

It's all right now, baby.
It's all right now.

And when this song is over,
I will continue to move through.
I'll go right out the back door of the gym,
And, unchaperoned, I will find the night.
And under the stars, to the beat of my own drum
And the music of the heavens,
I will dance eternally.

I'm bad to my hair,
Like this world is to me.

If it's not poofy enough,
I tease it and rat it.

If it's too poofy,
I pull it back hard
And tie it down.

Oh, the ribbon will be pretty,
But my hair will know it has been educated.

I'm bad to my hair.
It's always too something,
Just like I am to this world.
I'm always too somethin' for somebody.