Sunday, December 11, 2016

One-Sided Conversations

Me: What do people wear to this ordeal?

It: Wommmmpwompwompwomp womp wompwomp wommmmp

Me: Mmmmmmm, okaaaaaay. Well, what do other people wear?
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It: Wompwomp womp womp wompwomp womp?

Me: Because a place starts out and succeeds because of hard working people who care, and then, all the cool people decide they want to work there, but, they're also lazy bums.
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Me: Oh, I thought you said you were a vegetarian?

It:  Wompwompwompwomp womp?

Me: Yes, actually, pepperoni is meat.
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Me: Wompwompwompwomp wompwomp womp womp

It: Well, aren't you criticizing me for being critical?

Me: Womp womp wommmmmp
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It: Is Pepsi ok?

Me: wompwomp womp
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Her: Womp womp wompwomp womp
Me: yeah, I know, you should hear what she says about you.
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Me: I thought you'd invited me to come with you to Hawaii.

It: Womp womp womp.

Me: Oh.....Hue.......Vietnam.
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It: Womp womp wompwomp wompwomp womp wompwomp wompwomp wompwomp womp womp Wompwompwompwomp womp!

Me: Well, maybe you shouldn't take your dog to the dog park when it's in heat.
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-jenn

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