The next iPhone will give you ulcers
Then tell you you have them,
X-ray your tummy and show you where,
Inform you that ulcers are caused by viruses,
And order your prescription,
Pay for it, request it's delivery
And call your mother for you to tell her all about it.

Meanwhile, all that you will have to do
Is find the proper distance at which
You must hold your phone,
So that you can sit and read all about your life
Without having to bother to get up and search for your reading glasses.

-jenn